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When you are growing in life, in wealth and spirituality, a yak is likely to follow you in the spirit realm. This yak (metaphorical) will first act like a friend who will let you ride its back, but eventually, it will expect you to allow it to ride your back instead. 

The above pic was this yak skull that I found nailed to a tree, at a height of more than 4000 meters in altitude, in one remote Himalayan village. I halted here to savour a cup of tea in a teahouse while chatting with the teahouse lady and her son. The views were phenomenal.

Not many people know that I was trained and passed four belts in Kung Fu in childhood. This was the time when ‘Karate’ was a thing of interest all around the world. Mediocrity never interested me; I joined Kung Fu classes instead, which was rare. Nowadays Kung Fu is everywhere. One of the main differences I noticed between the two was that ‘Karate’ kids wore white, and ‘Kung Fu’ kids wore black. That instantly appealed to me. Another was the vocal noise they made – Karate had a lot of “heeya and Yaa”, while Kung Fu warriors made harsh breathing sounds from their mouths. 

White, yellow, green and blue are the four belts I have passed. The reason most people don’t know this is because I never told them. Only my close family members and a handful of my friends knew. This is also one of the reasons I think that I can maintain a slim body. The muscle memory in my body knows the training I have done. 

One of the things I remember and was very proud of during this time was the fact that I could run four steps on a flat 90-degree wall. As in, you run very fast towards a wall and then force yourself to kick against the wall while maintaining the running speed. That would make you look like you just climbed the wall (without using your hands). And how do you land on the ground? By doing a backflip. 

The team leader of the senior group, from whom I was learning was able to do just three. I thought I was only able to do that because I was lighter in weight and smaller in size. It was only when our master, who was a black belt in Kung Fu made me the team leader for the junior group did I conceded that what I did was awesome. 

The point is – The yak doesn’t like difficult things. It likes weak, easy and predictable things. This is why I think everyone should climb a mountain at least once in their lifetime, to scare the yak away. 

One of the first yaks I saw!

It’s not always about climbing mountains though. Sometimes it’s also about sitting at home and doing nothing in a lockdown. The yak hates unpredictable things. 

It’s like the movie Kung Fu Panda. Except, here, I am a fan of the superhuman skills of Tai Lung and not that lazy fat-ass Panda. I don’t know how many people were brainwashed by this movie into thinking that being a lazy whining panda is enough.

It’s ‘History’, as in ‘his-story’. It’s a story of his (panda’s) life. Just because a lie is told wonderfully doesn’t make it a truth. Yes, it’s a wonderful lie, but nothing more. 

I mean what if there was an alternate storyline to this movie? Maybe ‘our-story’ where every evil thing Tai Lung did was actually the Panda, and it was Tai Lung who was the hero who earned and understood the Dragon Scroll. Maybe the old turtle Oogway the Father saw greatness in Tai Lung the Son and pointed his finger to make him the Dragon Warrior. But everyone got jealous, including Shifu. Maybe Shifu murdered Oogway the last time they spoke and forcibly snatched his staff of wisdom. How convenient of him to return to the village and fabricate a story of how Oogway’s last words were to believe in the weak and programmable Panda before he drifted into the winds of flowery petals. I mean pushing Oogway off the cliff and murdering him sounds harsh to the ears, right? But I guess that was already done in the movie The Lion King. 

Strolling through a village, I found this twin-pine trees!

What if the Panda was just a jealous cousin of Tai Lung, who never wanted to accept him as his superior? Just because he collected action figures of the Furious Five and ate noodles, he thinks he deserves everything in life. He doesn’t want to put in the effort but wants everything. 

So in a sense, the fluffy Panda is that yak. 

At least the third Kung Fu Panda movie was OK. In that, the good guy was portrayed as the good guy and the bad guy as bad. The villain Kai had the horns of the yak on his head to be specific. 

This movie came a few months after my Himalayan trip (2017); after I had stumbled upon real yaks in the mountains. Oh wait… but google says the movie came in 2016, what? Movies can travel back in time now? Oh wait, wait, wait...

Yak burger at German bakery!


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